Kick'n and Scream'n

The title of my blog brings to mind a picture of a small child being pulled out of the toy aisle by a distraught mother at Christmas time.   There are times (right now is one of them) that I feel like this small child - my thoughts are "I don't want to do this, this was not part of MY plan, did you hear me I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS! "   This past year as been a year of "WHAT???!!" is going on? At first I tried to blame it on hormones, then I tried to blame it on my husband, then I wasn't sure what to blame it on - so a mid-life crisis, I think I need a new career - law school sounds like a good idea - process began to take over my thinking.  Slowly and quietly God began to speak, (He probably was all along) and surprisingly, I began to listen.  Not my ways, but yours Lord - became my mantra.  In the middle of the day when I am exploding out loud at life (and my children) I have to remind myself that God is in control, there is purpose it in all and I scream (sometimes silently) "God, show me your purpose, I am not sure I can take much more of this!"   In the quiet moments, those would be when I am quiet, God reminds me of that purpose.  To disciple, to raise Godly children, to instruct so that our children can be leaders, to stand above the crowd, to really set a higher standard is a lot of work. I constantly have to explain to my children that just because everyone else might be doing it doesn't make it right, just because that is the social norm we do not have to live by it, just because it has a certain rating doesn't mean that its acceptable.  We are called to a higher standard, we are called to love in a way that is not normal, we are called to show people there is joy everlasting.... as moms we are called.  Sometimes what we are called to leaves us feeling like that child in the aisle - screaming - just let me stay here in my fantasy world,  and sometimes what we are called to leaves us feeling like the mom dragging that kicking child through an aisle of onlookers (most likely shaking their heads)  - But know this, whether as a mom in the physical sense or the spiritual - YOU are called.

So whatever you struggle with today - God has given you the courage to tackle, He has given you the strength to press on, He has given you what you need - HE has given you JESUS.    This year my Christmas letter (if it gets done) will be more about my failures and more about HIS success because without hopelessness I have no hope, without coming to the end of myself I can not come to the beginning of Him - without struggle I cannot wallow in Grace -
Merry Christmas!!!!

Gold Mine in my Trunk

With the price of gold climbing at an ever astonishing rate - and my bank account falling at about the same velocity I decided to be proactive.  With my children back in school for the first time, five days a week, I have had a little free time to organize, clean, and restructure as well as have time to run errands, that take me a fraction of the time that it takes with children in tow.  While spending time organizing I came across several items that I had been meaning to return and just didn't get around to it - Well last week was the day!!

I set out with my bagged goodies and receipts, which was quite a feat in itself, and proceeded to chart my course - not with a list of things to buy but to return.  Several stops later and a trunk lighter, I declared "There's a gold mine in my trunk!"  Last week I was able to put $250.00 back into my account. Armed with enthusiasm and the desire to begin a new trend I began to scour my home for all the bits and pieces of projects that were not needed and could be returned - coming across several more items I was able to return another $70.00 - after I figure that I have paid tax on that money it really is the equivalent of about $400.00 - that had been riding in my trunk and hiding in my closet.

How often do we saddle ourselves with clutter and unwanted items because we do not take the time to unload.  Not only does this happen with the physical but also with the emotional.  We are so busy running and doing and thinking "we will get to it later" we don't realize how many times we have moved that return bag and what value there is in just letting go and making a return.  Sometimes we need to slow down and take care of the items in our trunk to realize there really is a gold mine there.  We need to take stock of what we have and are blessed with and not be burden by the items we don't want or need or even possibly relationships that are too heavy.  Sometimes it takes the return to realize the true value.  As you enter this holiday season may you be blessed with all that you have and especially by letting go of the things that  burden you.    

 Amplified Matthew 11:8-30  “28 Come unto Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. 30 For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good – not harsh, hard, sharp or pressing, but comfortable gracious and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.”  

Jesus gives an invitation to everyone of us who are weary, fatigued, heavy-laden and overburdened – because we have been working hard, toiling, and laboring in our own strength – to come to Him. He offers help and a solution. He was not talking only to us about physical labor alone, but also about mental, emotional and spiritual labor.

There are some burdens that we were not designed to bear. We were not designed to bear the burden of sin and everything else that hell has to offer. We were designed, by the Father, to live in His presence and to draw our life from Him and to be sustained by Him, not to be lone rangers – struggling and limping along under the weight of our heavy burdens.

There is no help, no salvation, no relief from our burdens in anything that is in our wisdom, strength or ability – nothing we can do ourselves can come close to what the Father does for us if we will humble ourselves to receive from His hand all that He has already provided for us.

http://www.rodneyhoward-browne.com/2008/11/my-yoke-is-easy-and-my-burden-is-light/

Why can't we just ride a bike?

   Last week I was driving and happened to go past 2 guys riding bikes. They were average looking guys - probably worked a corporate job and were out on a beautiful Saturday getting some fellowship and exercise. What really got me thinking as I drove past these guys was not what they were doing but how they were doing it.  There was a time when people would just get on a bike and ride - now everyone who is seen riding looks like they have just completed the Tour de France.  They wear shirts and shorts that have logos and the right amount of padding in the right places, they have shoes with clips and helmets with aerodynamic molding. What ever happened to just riding a bike?
   When did we make the turn and now you can't just play baseball you have to be in training.   You can't just play volleyball - you better be in a select club.  You can't just ride a bike, you have to invest an entire college fund to buy a bike.
    I am not opposed to the new clothing and gear, in fact I am very appreciative of my dry lite running gear when it is below 35 degrees and I don't have to be bundled up like a baby eskimo. I  am just reflecting on what has brought us to the point of super extremism.  And, if possible, how do we get off this constantly moving treadmill (you know, the one that allows me to run a 5 minute mile at a 15% incline.)
    There was a day that kids could go to school, they could be involved in a team sport and they still had time to play.  There was a day when a game of backyard kickball didn't require special equipment and a designer ball (or a liability attorney).  How do we get back on the humble biking path?
    In this day of extremism and reality t.v. everyone wants to be a star, to push themselves to go where no one has gone before.  I am a strong believer in raising the standard, in setting high goals and in driving to be the best.  I just think we have gotten a little carried away and we as a society are pushing people away from fun activities because they don't feel like they can compete financially or athletically.
     I think  a big piece of the puzzle is that we are trying to fill a hole that continues to grow larger as we become more extreme and more reliant on our own abilities.  This is a hole that can only be filled by Christ - if not we will continue to chase the - he with the most toys wins theory and be okay with it because it is in the name of health or fitness.
     The extremism to go beyond what most in an honest conversation would say is way too far just needs to stop - so tie up those keds, jump on that schwinn, pick up that wooden bat and just go play.  Invite the neighbors over and use a plain rubber ball, gather your friends and stroll down the street.  Life doesn't have to be over the top - let it just........be.

Airbrushed

Once again running in one of my favorite spots - I was processing this word - "airbrushed".   I was on vacation at the Jersey Shore - this year I decided I would go with a tan - so before we left I made an appointment to get a spray on tan.  I arrived at my assigned appointment time and was escorted by a very young girl into my room.  Not knowing what to expect I was a little surprised when I found myself in a 6 x 6 fairly stark room and she looked at me and said you can leave your clothes on that chair, step on these sticky feet and stand on that pad - I'll be back in a minute.  WHAT!!!!!  - Not one of total modesty, having already paid my fee and being a little vain (I was going to the beach) - I complied.  Without too much description here's the brief scenario - standing in this room wearing only my birthday suit a very young girl proceeds to spray paint my body, asking me to hold out my arms, turn around, lean forward, lean back and when it's all done - I'm tan. (This is available for everyone by the way - it only costs about $30 and most of your pride).

Why am I telling you this?  Because as I ran, bronzed and tan, down the beautiful beach, I looked down and noticed that I had white streaks on my arm - apparently spray on tan is averse to sweat - I begin to consider how much a spray on tan is like life,  we want the simple, quick, get it done, make - it - happen answer.  We may not be completely comfortable with the process but we know in the end the look will be complete.  When the job is done we can be in public and all that view us will have an impression we believe will be better, stronger, more likeable.

In reality, it is very obvious to those whose choose to see that I am airbrushed, note the white streaks and orangish non-human tint.  And eventually, usually in about 5 days the tan begins to fade.  The newness and color wears off and I am once again who I really am.  The quick, simple answer is really no answer at all but just a facade for those not really interested - its just a veil, that I can hide behind for a short time, eventually fading to expose me.  I can continue to go see this girl at the tanning place once a week and keep up the illusion, or I can face the reality that my life cannot be airbrushed.

I am in a much better place when I allow people to view me as I really am, when I allow them to see below the surface and experience the real me.  Let's face it, they will all know eventually.  Making that trip once a week becomes exhausting and expensive and not something that I can maintain.

So, even though my skin may not be completely transparent I would like my life to be.
 Matt 11:28  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
1 Corinthians 1:26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
Its a blessing to know that God loves me just as I am.

The Suite is Reserved and The deck is under repair

A couple of weekends ago I attended a bloggers conference, mostly to get out of town, but with the hopes that I might become a little more versed in the social media world.  From beginning to end I was in awe of how much I do not know - I am way behind on hash tags and @ anything and RSS feeds galore.  My head was spinning and my brain quite sore.  I walked away from the conference feeling like I may need to be on permanent ADD medication as the entire tweet world does nothing except cause my already active brain to follow a trail I didn't even know existed.   Needless to say I am working through this insane new way of connecting and marketing as fast as my brain will allow - and I am quite intrigued at all the possibilities.  I have entered the twitter world, established a tweetdeck and hootsuite or is it hootdeck and tweetsuite - they both have their uses.  I cannot quite bring myself to have either of those as my landing page - but will try.  I do find that this constant influx of information can be quite distracting and overwhelming from the reality that sits in front of me - so as I learn and grow I will keep you posted or fed.  For now the suite is reserved and the deck is under repair - Stick with me.

Weeding the Garden

I recently read a statement, where the question was asked, "How do you start your morning?" the reply was, "weeding my garden with a cup of coffee in my hand."  Instinctively I thought, "I like her."  I have been known to weed my garden with a cup of coffee in my hand and a phone on my ear.  Why is this so appealing to me - because it takes care of the job without making it a chore.  As life imitates itself I am reminded that weeding the physical garden (and my life garden) this way can be the most effective.  I may not have it all done at once and it may not look pretty and finished but it is a work in progress.  And it is something that is constantly being worked on.  When I look at my garden and see the weeds growing and think - "that is going to take awhile" and then walk away waiting until I have a four hour slot to do the job the weeds continue to take over my garden and my life.  Sometimes it then requires a complete overhaul of the entire area to start the foundation.  If I slowly weed a little a day bit by bit - the weeds never take over - they are always there waiting to claim the space but as long as I deal with them constantly they never take root.

Summer Reading - Part Two

Summer is not officially over so I believe I am still within my window for posting this.

My summer started off reading a book that inspired me (read last post) it was then followed by picking up a book that I chose purely for entertainment to read while on vacation.  I had seen the movie posters for this book and it was listed as a great book - heartfelt, romantic, humorous - I thought I give it a shot.  Now my review of this book may not have been quite so critical if I had not just read Do Hard Things, but I had so.....

Spoiler Alert - if you want to read to the book One Day - I will discuss plot - discussion to be read with parental guidance.

I am highly recommending AGAINST the book and then the movie One Day by David Nicholls.  This book was the total opposite of the challenge created by Bret and Alex Harris in Do Hard Things.  I continued to read One Day with the hope that surely there would be some redeeming qualities, that surely there would be some moral point or growth in character.  Much to my disappointment there was not.  The main character Dexter is a twenty something (who grows to age 40 by the end of the book) who wants nothing more out of life than that prescribed by the devout Hedonist - excerpt from  page nine "He hoped to be successful, to make his parents proud, to sleep with more than one woman at the same time." "He wanted to be in magazines and be famous for his work with no idea what that work might be - he wanted to live life to the extreme without complications, if a picture were taken of him at random it would look "cool" and there should be a lot of fun with no more sadness than necessary."  The other character Emma freshly graduated from university on the brink of "adulthood"  - " has a ripple of anxiety pass across her shoulders at the thought of it: independent adult life - she didn't feel like an adult."

The entire story is a sad case of the excuses we have been given and are passing on to our children about why they do not have to be responsible - why they do not have to live a life where they are called to be better.  The entire plot made me feel as if I had just been vomited on and could not find a towel to wipe it off or clean it up.

There are times I struggle in the day to day to teach my teenager and pre-teen biblical moral values and feel like I am fighting a losing battle.  After reading this book I have a better idea of why - society is teaching our children that it is cool and respectable to be a slug - "I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier. That's okay we are [meant to be a bit rudderless and oarless] at twenty-four.  In fact our whole generation is like that - it's because we never fought in a war or watched too much t.v. The only people with oars and rudders are dreary bores and squares."  From the books, to the songs, to the t.v shows and movies - every piece of society is driving our children to be an under-achiever - its easier.  This book One Day hit me at my core and made me furious - angry at a society that says they care about standards and excellence but then do nothing to teach their children how to accomplish a higher standard.  There are pockets of hope in society, Do Hard Things is a cry for that - but it is a true battle.  A battle for the mind, body and soul.  My generation may have never fought in a physical war but we are fighting a spiritual war daily, minute by minute, for the hearts and minds of our children.

I discuss frequently with my teenager the need to guard what is put in our minds and hearts through what we see and hear - and in that have been challenged to take a closer look at what I put in my heart and mind.  Books turn Movie like One Day are a great reminder of the propaganda that is being thrown in our faces.  The cover caught my eye as I feel it was a take off from the World War II photo upon the soldiers return.  I knew nothing about the story and was somewhat expecting a romantic war reuniting storyline - what I got was something much different.  People magazine claimed "One of the most hilarious and emotionally riveting love stories you'll ever encounter."  Wow - there was nothing funny about this book - it was incredibly sad.  A story about a guy who trashes his life through drugs and sex, a girl who pines for something that never existed, a friendship that is surface and tries to make out as if it is a deep, spiritual bond, lives that are racked and ruined by selfish, immoral choices that have absolutely no consequences other than to create minor setback for the character.

I write this review to say if you haven't read One Day - don't and if you haven't seen the movie don't.  I have not seen the movie but can not imagine how any producer could create anything on screen that would have any redemptive qualities for this book.  There simply is nothing in it that can be recommended.

I do however recommend that you read my last post on Do Hard Things and challenge yourself, your children and your grandchildren to rise above the mediocre standard that is being set.  To tackle the hard things that God has placed in front of you, to be a leader for the life that is morally and biblically sound.  In doing this, you will create a story that is worthy to print and a movie worth watching.