Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Love them WELL

This phrase continues to POP into my head - Love them well.... What does that mean?  I recently had the opportunity to take my favorite "little guy" on a date.  Somewhere in the course of our evening our conversation sounded like this, "Do you know I love you?" His response, "Yes," "How do you know I love you?" "You tell me everyday," "How else do you know I love you?" "You give me hugs," "Is there anything I could do more or differently so that you would know I love you?"  "Umm, let me do whatever I want.??"....  (more to follow)
The next day I was sitting next to our 15 year old son and was working through some geometry and was inspired to ask the same question, "Do you know I love you?"  "Uh, Ya,"  "How do you know I love you?" "You tell me so," "How else do you know I love you?" "I don't know, you buy  me the stuff that I need,"  "Is there a way I could let you know that I love you more?"  "Uhhh, I don't know I could say let me do what I want, but that would not be right, so no."
Love them Well ...... sometimes we love, sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's easy and sometimes it just is.
After my little one said, "Let me do what I want," we had the conversation about how that might mean I didn't love him - sometimes doing what we want is not the best for us and we need someone to take our hand and help us understand a better way.  He looked at me and said, "Okay, just do more of this."   Just do more of this - MORE spending time with me, MORE letting me know that I'm special, MORE breaks in your day from the craziness to say you notice me, MORE I get you and you know what I like, you love to watch me run and play, you are my breath and my reason to press on, MORE of this MORE of me.
I believe that God desires the same from us and for us..... Just do more of spending time with me - I know that I think I don't have more time until I take it, but once I do I am overwhelmed with joy and blessing and energy and a deep reminder of all that is good and wonderful.

So take the time to LOVE THEM WELL- it's healing.  Thanks to my mom for teaching me to ask the question,"How can I love you better?"

Friday, January 27, 2012

Too tired to be Inspired!?

Can you relate? Do you feel like you can never get ahead, you're just surviving your day? I think one of my biggest challenges is that I want everything I do to be inspirational, exciting, earth shattering and most days just aren't like that.  When I was teaching, or in college working on my teaching degree, hard to remember which, the movie "Dead Poet Society", starring Robin Williams, came out.  I sat mesmerized for two hours thinking I want to be that teacher - it seemed like it was the era of teacher movies, "Stand and Deliver", "Lean on Me", movies that inspired and at the same time created this sense in students of, "Why can't you be THAT teacher?"  It took me several years to realize I am that teacher when 20 years of my teaching life is condensed into 2 hours.  I'm sure I have 120 minutes of really exciting, inspiring, creative moments already completed in my life and (I'm believing) it's not half over.
But today, today I struggle with the day to day of managing a business that falls under HEAVY regulatory guidelines, I have to keep up with a social media world - that moves at the speed of a 2 year old on a post halloween sugar rush, I have two books projects to complete, and somewhere in there my family is going to want to eat.  I refuse to have dinner handed to me through a window - so, I'm too tired to be inspired.
I would like to blame it on low thyroid and an aging hormone factory (that's another blog) - which both could be a cause, but I think more than anything its a drive to be a supermom, wife, friend.  And when I'm not in the superhero business there's a weird part of me that would like to be Martha Stewart - especially if I could have her staff.
As I write this, I breathe easier - I realize I just need to slow down and remember Philippians 4:18 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - and Romans 8:28  we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose - who are called (most importantly) according to HIS purpose.  Its the last part of that verse that I need to remember and put in practice - according to HIS purpose.  All to often I think I try to accomplish all these crazy things that have nothing to do what God is calling me to do and then I want to blame God for not helping me out.
So today I will take the time to be inspired - it will start with reading the Bible and from there I will see what comes -

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I thought I was free

Last Spring I began to embark on a new journey - one that was selected just for me - I was going to Law School - now I could prove how smart I was, now everyone would know how much I knew - now I could finally have something I could call mine........NOW-----
Now here I sit----- I didn't start law school and I am halfway back to where I started. After the kids were moved to full-time school, and I decided not to attend law school,  I was relishing in my new found freedom. I slowly began to realize what I thought was freedom was only a prison.   I was no longer free to say let's spend the day lounging - math and science it will come.  I was no longer free to say today we play - which looks like designing dresses for the American Girl dolls or hiking through the woods or maybe just maybe a game of speed scrabble.  No, now I lived in this world of someone else dictating my schedule - the schedule I thought I would love- the schedule which would allow ME free time- the schedule - which seemed so convenient.  I have to be reminded by my own words from the intro to my cookbook, The Nurture Diet -- "we have to make a concerted effort to shift from convenience to control to take charge of our family's well being at the fundamental core."   What I looked forward to for more convenience I was giving up in control (and if you have read ANY of my previous blogs you know this was a big step) - I was possibly taking a BIG step in the wrong direction.
It would be so much more convenient to have someone else "process" my 15 year old 50 hours out of the week - it would be so much easier to not hassle the "I don't want to's and why do I have to do this" - it would be so much more convenient - but as I learned while writing the Nurture Diet - it's not about convenience - it's about controlling (my favorite word)  where it is used correctly - the environment that my children are subject to.  We get to make that choice - we are not stuck - so if my environment looks like planting a garden and then learning how to make a salad I get that choice.  If my environment looks like ripping through 6 chapters of Geometry in  3 weeks we get to make that choice.  Yes, it would be convenient to be able to have 40 hours a week to schedule lunch dates and haircuts - yes, it would be convenient to hire someone to clean my house and cook my  meals (not taking time to train our kids how to complete the job) - yes, it would be convenient to pull lunch out of a pre-made container (not taking the time to read the ingredient list) - but that is not what God has called me to (please note that I am only speaking for myself - for others your path may look the exact opposite of mine) but God is calling - how he calls is each individuals story.  God has called me - I know without a doubt that my children will be better served by being by my side - as much as, many days, I would like to kick them to the curb.
So what looked like freedom six months ago became MY prison - MY holding pattern - and now - now we are a little bit freer - to discover where God will place us on this path and how He will show us to walk together -

I challenge you today to ask, "Are the choices I'm making convenient or are they placing me in control to allow God to work in and through me?"  This doesn't look the same for all people but know that God is Good all the time and convenience may not always be what it seems.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...