Sunday, July 27, 2014

Redeemed... REdeemed...REDEEMED!

Almost a year ago my husband and I attended a seminar - not the one I thought I was going to but the one I needed to go to - the seminar was Storyline #Storyline #DonaldMiller - I thought it was a writers conference - well it wasn't - it was a storywriter's conference - but the storyline was mine - WAIT - WHAT????? The jest was - we all have a story - we all have turns negative and positive - we all have stories that can be redeemed.   A year ago, OK six months ago, I was not ready, nor willing to go there - I thought I was going to a writers conference.  I thought I was going to learn to write great stories, stories that would WOW the world - stories that would make people say read this!!!  I .... DID... NOT... PLAN... TO ... BE... CONFRONTED... WITH... MY... STORY!!!  -

Here I sit - my story, not really even sure what my story is - not even really sure what I know - not even really sure what I want to know - but this
These are my babes - the bust me, they move me, they break me - everything that I am surges with pride and joy - pain and laughter - there are no words to explain, to discect, to imagine all that is or that will be -

Everything that I was, that I am, that I might be - is shown to me in these beings - oh the pain, the glory, the revelation.  God in HIS goodness shows himself to me - EVERY SINGLE DAY - that I could look on these people and see - that each and every day can be redeemed - no matter what we have been through, no matter where we may go - God can redeem it - He can heal it - He can provide and He will prove His love again and again -

 They bust me, they move me, they break me- they are my story ....... stay tuned!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

My God, My God why hast thou forsaken me?!

Wow - let me just say the last week of my life totally understands this saying -

Where are you God is my cry - where have you been and WHAT is going on???  Are you not in the mode of protecting? Where is that Superhero I need??? My GOD, My God, --- I guess that really is the question - Who or What is my God??   In times of prosperity, or times of content the My God is easy oh so easy.  But in times of trial do I know who My GOD is - or do I desire it all to just be okay? 

Let me tell you friend, I can not be my own God nor can I be yours - but if you know the God of Jacob, the God of Abraham, the God of Elijah - the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ - then in those times of trouble - may you know the peace of - There is purpose you just do not understand.  May you know the joy that comes from knowing HIM - when nothing else is real - May you be aware that there is a greater purpose than any you can create or dream of - My God My God may your love stand firm and your peace be everlasting!

Friday, May 16, 2014

A roll of scotch tape

I want to be the fun mom - I'm trying to say yes more - I'm trying to leave a legacy of JOY - so this morning when my 10 year old asked, "Do we have scotch tape?" I stopped myself from saying, "yes, but you can't use it - don't waste it - it cost money."  I did not say any of these things - instead I found a roll of scotch tape and handed it to him with a smile.  I then had the opportunity to watch him play, create and delight - all because I said YES and handed him a roll of .69 cent scotch tape to do with as he pleased.   How often in our adult lives do we stop ourselves or others from playing, from delighting in the everyday - because we have some preconceived notion of what might be right or can't get past the what ifs?  How many times do we tell ourselves NO - to a vision, a dream, a creative thought - isn't time we started saying YES?  Yes, to the idea - the dream - the creativity.  YES to a roll of scotch tape just to see what comes up - today I say YES.  Now for a trip to Costco to buy tape in bulk.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Are you IN or are you OUT?

In the last several months, meaning last several weeks - this statement has come up for me several times.  I have been in the awesome position, of once again, coaching high school track runners, at the same time have gone through an experiential seminar, at the same time have helped a friend walk through life changing decisions - so the question that keeps arising is ...... are you in or are you out?  When playing poker (as little as I have played)  - I do know that that is the question that is always asked - are you in, or are you out?   How long are you playing the game?  Well, let me tell you friends, should you have asked this question 3, 6, 12 months ago I may have answered I don't know.  But today, today, I know --- I'm in - I'm playing this game to the end --- I'm playing with you to the end of a broken marriage, I'm playing with you to the death of a child, I'm playing with you to a new beginning, I'm playing with you ---- I'm playing....... Why, because God delights - God delights in  new beginnings, God delights in failed newness, God delights and friend so do I.   So do I.   So I play, I'm in - all my chips, I'll I have - no judgement - no knowledge - just the cards in front of me ALL IN - are you ready to play --- I say I'm IN!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Are YOU agreeable?

Over the past 6 months I have had the opportunity to interact with people in Ireland - while making reservations and purchasing an Irish Dance Dress there have been many emails back and forth.  One statement that struck me as humorous on several occasions was the question, "Are you agreeable?".  This was always asked when a price was given or a negotiation was in place.  Every time I read this phrase I was tickled inside - after reading it one more time this morning I began thinking on it and wondering why it stuck with me.  "Are you agreeable?", the phrase we commonly use is, "Is that ok with you?"  I have decided I like "are you agreeable" much better.  The person is not asking is that want you want or are you ok with this, but are you agreeable to it - will you agree and be content with the decision.

Raising teenagers I find myself saying a lot - "Just get along", or "Just do what I ask without arguing" - the tendency for anyone trying to assert their independence is to push through their ideas or "get their way" - I am very familiar with this on a personal level.  But to be agreeable --- now that is something we should all strive for.  To be agreeable does not mean we have to compromise our belief structure or values we hold dear - To be agreeable does not mean we have to give up being independent, in fact I think being agreeable allows me to have more independence and control over my emotions and desires because I can just agree that in a certain situation this scenario will work, and it doesn't have to be my way.  I should repeat, "It doesn't have to be my way".

We learned a lot about each other on our family trip to Ireland - 2 weeks, 5 people and a smart car forces that education.  And we learned we can
be agreeable - some of us tend to be more agreeable than others - but we are working on it and training to be more agreeable.

James 3:17 -But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

I think this verse in James shows it well - the wisdom From above (God) is agreeable - I desire to be more agreeable - I'm working on that - how about you, "are you agreeable?"

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

How do you leave a legacy?

I was left an amazing legacy - a legacy by parents who walked in faith, in trust, in what they would probably call stumbling destination - but it was and is a good legacy - I learned that Faith and Trust in God results in a life that is lived and not just moved through.  I learned that no matter what the circumstances - it all works out - I learned that you can't give enough to give yourself out - I learned service is more than something you do- its how you live.. I want that legacy - so why? Why do I find myself at the end of the day banging my head against the wall - saying this is not the legacy I want to leave - this is not how I want to be remembered.  Why do I scream at my children when they don't preform in the way I feel is appropriate - why do I nag them to do things differently - Why - mostly because I have not given it all to HIM - to a God that says I will hold you - I will guide you - I will comfort you - I will protect you - I will LOVE you - I will desire you - I will lay down my life for you- I WILL because I AM - the legacy I want to leave begins with the death that is so hard to give - the death of me of who I am and what I think is best - to give to a God in  a way that I says I trust and who knows best - so here I lay it down - my everything and any thing - I want a legacy that SCREAMS ETERNITY - I desire a legacy that says God you are my ALL in ALL no matter the cost - so when my child does something that this world may say Shame on you -I can - grasp with wide open arms and say you - YOU are GOD's Best - I don't nag - I don't badger - I don't shame - I just LOVE in a way that I have been loved - so that this Legacy can carry on....

Thursday, December 20, 2012

When we know what 6, 16, 46 looks like

"Death is not the sad part. The sad part is looking back at how they affected your life, and how such a great person is leaving. Looking back at the memories and how they went the extra mile to make your life better. How not a lot of people knew how great of a person they were. But the greatest relief is knowing whole heartedly that they will be dancing in heaven soon. I hope that I have the type of impact on people when I pass."
huffington post - we know what 6 looks like
The first statement was written by our 16 year old - after he visited our dear friend in Hospice - the link is to a great article written about the CT tragedy and why we feel so affected.  I happen to read both of these last night back to back - and....I....broke.  If we are blessed - we know what life looks like.  We know the joy, the sorrow, the excitement, the pain.  We know.  Jesus states, "I have come that you might have LIFE and have it more abundantly",  if we know what 6 looks like, if we are able to  fully experience a life at any stage we have life more abundantly.  It becomes easy to be bogged down in the day to day life and to just be waiting for the next stage - but when we see a life that was lived well end - we are faced with the reality of not watching that life anymore.  And we are saddened - I believe for the hole that cannot be filled by anyone else - because we were created individuals - we were created for a purpose - to worship, to laugh, to live, to love.  If we have the extreme privilege of knowing and experiencing someone who was able to live life more abundantly we are blessed.   I think I was so moved because both in our son, in our friend, in my parents, my husband, in family members and friends I have been touched with life and love more abundantly.  And...I...Broke for the sadness of no longer hearing the most contagious laugh that I have ever known, the longing that I know his boys will have when they hit milestones that cannot be shared in this life with their father, and for the absence that will be felt by my husband when he is not able to pick up the phone and talk to his friend.   But as our 16 year old stated, in this there is also joy - joy for the lifetime that will come when we can dance and shout and worship together - with no pain or suffering.  In that I have hope.  The tragedy in CT this week just reminds us of how fleeting life is - but whether that life ends at 6, 16, 46 or 86- we know what it looks like, we know how awesome life is and we long for it to last longer.   The good news......
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

As we celebrate the season, that celebrates the birth of Christ, may we rejoice in the knowledge that as believers in Christ we will celebrate for eternity together.  

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