Can you relate? Do you feel like you can never get ahead, you're just surviving your day? I think one of my biggest challenges is that I want everything I do to be inspirational, exciting, earth shattering and most days just aren't like that. When I was teaching, or in college working on my teaching degree, hard to remember which, the movie "Dead Poet Society", starring Robin Williams, came out. I sat mesmerized for two hours thinking I want to be that teacher - it seemed like it was the era of teacher movies, "Stand and Deliver", "Lean on Me", movies that inspired and at the same time created this sense in students of, "Why can't you be THAT teacher?" It took me several years to realize I am that teacher when 20 years of my teaching life is condensed into 2 hours. I'm sure I have 120 minutes of really exciting, inspiring, creative moments already completed in my life and (I'm believing) it's not half over.
But today, today I struggle with the day to day of managing a business that falls under HEAVY regulatory guidelines, I have to keep up with a social media world - that moves at the speed of a 2 year old on a post halloween sugar rush, I have two books projects to complete, and somewhere in there my family is going to want to eat. I refuse to have dinner handed to me through a window - so, I'm too tired to be inspired.
I would like to blame it on low thyroid and an aging hormone factory (that's another blog) - which both could be a cause, but I think more than anything its a drive to be a supermom, wife, friend. And when I'm not in the superhero business there's a weird part of me that would like to be Martha Stewart - especially if I could have her staff.
As I write this, I breathe easier - I realize I just need to slow down and remember Philippians 4:18 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - and Romans 8:28 we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose - who are called (most importantly) according to HIS purpose. Its the last part of that verse that I need to remember and put in practice - according to HIS purpose. All to often I think I try to accomplish all these crazy things that have nothing to do what God is calling me to do and then I want to blame God for not helping me out.
So today I will take the time to be inspired - it will start with reading the Bible and from there I will see what comes -
Friday, January 27, 2012
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